Rebuilding Healthy Spiritual Practices
Maybe prayer used to feel safe and now it brings up anxiety. Maybe you loved Scripture, and now certain verses feel like weapons. Maybe church was your community, and now walking through those doors feels impossible. If that is where you are, that is not a failure of faith. When something sacred gets used against you, that can be a traumatic experience, and these are the consequences.
When spiritual practices become tools of control, they leave a mark, and you can’t simply pick up where you left off. Healing your relationship with God, and with your own spirituality, requires something gentler.
The first thing I encourage my clients to do is grieve. The community you lost, the faith that felt certain, and the version of God you thought you knew — if those things were taken or distorted, that loss is real, and you are allowed to mourn them before you rebuild anything.
When you are ready to begin rebuilding, start by asking yourself: before the manipulation, what actually connected you to God? Was it quiet mornings with your Bible? Music? Being outside? Serving others? Go back there. Those threads belong to you, and they existed before someone else used faith against you, which means they are the safest place to begin.
Here are a few places many of my clients start:
Prayer without a script — an honest conversation. Anger counts, grief counts. God can hold all of it.
Scripture with fresh eyes — a study Bible, a different translation, or a theologian who reads through the lens of love rather than control can help you reclaim what was taken out of context.
Worship on your own terms — music, nature, art, movement. Whatever helps you feel connected to something larger than yourself, without obligation or performance.
Community at your own pace — a small, safe group, or one trusted friend. You get to decide how much access to give, and when.
Honest lament — the Psalms are full of raw, unfiltered grief and anger directed straight at God. If your prayers sound more like protest than praise right now, you are in very good company.
It’s also important to remember, God was not on the side of the person who used His name to harm you. He was not honored by your silence or glorified by your pain. The God of Scripture is the defender of the vulnerable, not the one handing authority to those who abuse it.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” — Psalm 34:18
Rebuilding your spiritual life is not about recreating what you had before, but discovering what feels true for you now — what nourishes and connects you. That process is slow, and it is sacred, and it belongs entirely to you. No one else gets to set the timeline.
If you are in this tender in-between space and would like someone to hold both your healing and your faith with care, I am here. You do not have to have it figured out to reach out, that’s what this space is for.
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Therapist Recommended Reading
The Shattered Soul: Restoring Wholeness and Rebuilding Your Faith After Spiritual Trauma Paperback — Colleen Ramser, LPC
Trauma therapist and Licensed Professional Counselor Colleen Ramser journeys with survivors as an empathetic companion on the path to recovery from spiritual trauma and abuse.
Searching for Sunday: Loving, Leaving, and Finding the Church — Rachel Held Evans
Evans catalogs her journey as she loves, leaves, and finds the church once again. A memoir about leaving and returning to the church for women who are grieving a faith community while still holding onto faith itself.
Soul Repair: Rebuilding Your Spiritual Life — Jeff VanVonderen, Dale Ryan, Juanita Ryan
A compassionate guide for those healing from spiritual hurt, explores what it means to reconnect with faith, self-trust, and community after painful religious experiences.
The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry: How to Stay Emotionally Healthy and Spiritually Alive in the Chaos of the Modern World — John Mark Comer
A roadmap to staying emotionally healthy and spiritually alive in the chaos of the modern world.
Some of the links above are affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission if you choose to purchase — at no additional cost to you. I only recommend books I genuinely find valuable.
If This Resonates
Working with a therapist who understands both trauma and faith can help you untangle what was done to your spirituality from what is genuinely and beautifully yours, and move toward a faith that heals rather than harms. When you’re ready, you’re welcome to schedule a confidential consultation.
For continued reflections on faith, healing, and spiritual recovery, consider subscribing here on Substack and following along on Instagram and Facebook. If you’re looking for more therapist-recommended books and resources on rebuilding faith after spiritual abuse, you can also follow my Pinterest for curated recommendations.
With you,
Charlene, LMHC & Trauma-Informed Coach
